Childhood Abuse

Monday Matters Blog Series

I planned today’s Monday Matters weeks ago, but now the timing couldn’t be more perfect. My cousin’s ex recently had an article published about the abuse she went through as a child. Being as she was married into my family, we all got to hear about the things that she had been through, which were horrific. However, many things in her article had been embellished or just false. As a childhood abuse survivor, this really hurts my heart. I pointed out that the website should have done some fact checking on such a huge story, and I was attacked and called a troll. If that makes me a troll, then so be it. I guess I am. But I know the bigger picture, the fight ALL childhood survivors must go through. And every step forward a survivor makes, we get thrown back several by someone who lies. Here’s why.

In today’s world you know we are all grouped together. The major battle of equality between blacks and whites pits that all whites are the same while all blacks are the same. This is a separate topic for a whole different post, but it serves as an example. If one childhood survivor takes to a major news stream and lies about her experiences, it puts the rest of the survivors in a negative light. Many assaults go unprosecuted because the victim is called a liar. They use situations like these to back up their point of view. It’s not right at all, but it’s the battle we must fight right now. I tried to use my childhood experience to help others and became a sexual assault victim’s advocate. I sat in interviews with the victim and saw how the detectives poked holes in every inconsistency. Before long, they acted as if nothing happened at all.

Now, I know it’s not easy to open up. Very few people in my life know exactly what I went through as a child. Others may know the general idea but I never went into details. It’s hard to open up. It’s humiliating. I’m sure at some point every survivors tells themselves lies to help get through things, build up their self-esteem, or to just imagine that we had or now have a normal life. It’s part of the process. But this part should not be broadcast through main stream journalism as the truth.

Childhood abuse is horrific. It scars the victim in multiple ways. It can lead them down a path of self-destruction. It causes many heartaches and many obstacles that the survivor must deal with throughout their lives. I went from promiscuity, to self harming (cutting), to alcohol, to suicidal thoughts. I’ve been in and out of counseling since I was 16. It’s been a never-ending battle. As soon as I get through one layer, it opens up a whole new layer that I didn’t even know existed.

So what am I getting at with this article? My heart goes out to every abuse survivor, child or adult. I am here for you in any way that I can be. Recovery is not an easy road. But no matter how hard it gets, we must remember to be honest about it. If you come to a part that is too difficult, take a break. Deal with another issue in your life. Come back to that part when you’re stronger to deal with it. Or seek help from a trusted friend or a medical professional. We shouldn’t take what we perceive as the easy road out and embellish our stories. We hurt more than ourselves when we do. And it really is detrimental to your recovery. You will never fully heal if you have made yourself this whole other world to live in. And quite honestly, you deserve better than that.

Child Abuse Hotline: 1-800-4-A-CHILD (1-800-422-4453)

National Abuse Hotline: 1-800-656-HOPE (1-800-656-4673)

Substance Abuse and Mental Health National Hotline: 1-800-662-HELP (1-800-662-4357)

{It’s important for me to say that I will eventually open up about the details of my abuse, but my story will affect others close to me as well. When I’m sure they are comfortable with my story being published, I will begin sharing it with everyone.}

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